TOO MANY CARDS IN THE DECK

Too many cards in the deck, may 2019 blog, image of 4 playing cardsOkay, summer is coming, and I realize May is one month before June, marking one-half the year gone.

Focus is stamped inside my head. Focus is the morning alarm clock.  Focus has been with me all my life. It’s my parents’ voice, my teachers’ voice, and all too much—my conscience.

But really, as an adult, how easy is focus, and how easy is it to achieve, let alone hang on to??? The challenges, the pressures, the obligations multiple like rabbits, leaving me barely enough time to catch my breath. We, as adults,  juggle so much—job, relationships, parenting—not to mention social media and reality show politics (countless other distractions add up to the one big SCREAM!!!!)

Where and how can it all fit onto on plate? How can we, me, you, I—manage to keep one foot in front of the other without tripping and falling on our ass!?

Patience plays a huge part in choosing to be a writer. It’s that patience that allows and transforms words into magnificent stories.

Inside I shout:  I want to do everything. I want to live. I want to thrive. I want to enjoy my journey. The list is something like this:

  • I want to take on every interesting project.
  • I want to say yes to everyone else’s requests, even if I know I’m already too busy.
  • I want to travel everywhere, and see everything that’s interesting.
  • I want to try every delicious food, and I always want more of it (and I always eat too much).
  • I want to watch every interesting TV show and film.
  • I want to read everything interesting online.
  • I want to spend time with everyone I love, with every friend—and also have a lot of time for solitude!

Am I being greedy trying to focus on too much, racing to the finish line before the finish line finishes me? The overload of wanting to do too many things can stifle one’s mind, creativity, and even cause a heart attack. Over saturation with too many things has caused me to lose sleep, shut down, and even combat depression.

What is the solution? Why I forget this, I don’t know  . . . but it’s mediation (about 15 minutes), a walk outside, listening to music, or just stepping away from my project and mixing a little fun in the equation. I guess, the older I get, the more complicated I want to be! Simplicity, in thought, is the key. I know (but do forget) this like I know my name. If I’m able to do any of these Listening to music is an activity mentioned in this month's blog. Shows a woman lying in grass with headset on.techniques (meditation, walking, music, or stepping away) then the word focus loses its sour taste. I can prioritize more clearly and ask myself this age-old question—What do I want to do today? What is important? What do I NEED to do today? Can I live with doing NOTHING????!!!! Is it okay to just let go and be lazy? Easy answers don’t come at all easy for someone who is a perfectionist (ME) writing and trying to focus on getting all the sentences in proper order.

I think the last half of the year I’ll look at the urgency of all that I need to focus on. Prioritizing will be the focus. Focus on what I need to do, and then, take one task on my list and work on it. Giving myself options to live and enjoy life, I know will make me focus better and enjoy other aspects of who I am, and what makes me happy.

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