OCTOBER’S HANGOVER

old baggage stacked I need to get rid of wearing-me-down-baggage with the onset of October and the fall season. Seeing that I’m not a person who makes New Years’ resolutions, I take this time of the year to recharge and access for that last sprint before December 31st. 

I once read: “It’s not how you start, but rather how you finish.” Looking over the past months leading into October, there’s been laughter, shock, happiness, sadness, enlightenment, and plagues of stagnation.

Coming from a place where optimism starts my day and a prayer ends it, I’ve hoped, as writer to create that unforgettable story . . .  yet, waiting to hear from an agent to represent me, is still a dangling carrot. Writer’s block has painted me into a corner. How do I start my next story? I’ve rewritten the first 10 pages over and over.

Contemplating the new year says I’ll be one year older. What will become of me if this year ends on a sour note?

I search for a remedy (causing me much deliberation) for the October Hangover pounding inside my head. It’s as if there’s an urgency to change into a different person, than who I was the first day of this year.

From conversations with friends throughout 2018, finding the center-core of who you are is a roadmap full of disconnected streets, dead ends, and unfamiliar terrain. So the question is: Where the hell is life taking us (or me) . . .  when control is often out of our (or my) hands?

Change, not just for a writer, just might be cement-will-power to dig oneself out of a rut, take charge of that control when you can, and don’t worry about the rest???  As with the constant tick of the clock—the same or different shadows will creep up again this time next year (or never leave). Control is only within a fingertip grasp, as circumstances have legs and a mind of their own.

I admire people who seamlessly get it right and move from one day through the year (and subsequent ones) never missing a beat. They are the OPRAHS, who channel a radiant beacon into their center-core and effortlessly flow . . . invisibly stumbling along the way.Scrabble image depicting the word LIFE spelled out

I’m not a magazine collector, but as I thought about OPRAH, I saw on my desk several of her magazines (the only ones I’ve saved) entirely devoted to some mindful subjects. One is dated October 2017:  SEE LIFE THROUGH A NEW LENS. Another issue is November 2017:  THE POWER OF GRATITUDE. The March 2016 issue:  MAKE ROOM FOR A NEW YOU. The last one is May 2015:  THE 15TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE: Change, growth, and success. (I, too, had a good year in 2015, so I felt in good company). I kept these issues because the articles spoke to me. Funny, how even as recent as last week, these timely pieces gave me what I needed to deal with my OCTOBER HANGOVER: how to think with attitude, how to write with purpose, and finding and staying in the center-of the-core-of-life.

I’m not saying go out and buy OPHRA’S magazines, but this October 2018, the lead-in stories from those old issues I saved . . .  made me realize (again) each day . . .  no matter what the month . . .  I must choose to steady my own course. Accept who I am this month, the next, and the ones after that. Living each day into coming the years, life will be unexpected. It will be in some respects, the same, no matter how I wish it not so . . .  and yes, with lots of hangovers—I just need to continue using the tools to lessen their effect.  ~~~ “There are only moments. Live in this one, the happiness of these days.”  Karen Millett (a quote in O Magazine 15th Anniversary Issue)

 

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